Friday, February 3, 2017

What a week...*rant/cussy*

Explained with Filthy Frank Gifs..


Me today...just DONE with 2017 already.

Wednesday we restocked and it went okay. We
went ahead and bought black out curtains from Ikea
so that's done at least for spring/summer. Nice, it blocks
all the lights from the school next to us too. 

No super awesome sales but it went okay. 

Thursday I went to the crisis center.


It went really well and I had a good
talk with my...like "case worker" and all. I 
can contact her via email/phone so that's good. It was
15 euros to park for 1 hour 35 minutes in Forum in
Helsinki. Good lord, what a body part. 

Spenser had 10 panic attacks the entire day too. So
yesterday sucked an infinitum of balls.  I got lots of 
questions answered at the center and that was 
good. I got some closure to some degree, good advice.

Though their elevator was hella scary. It said max
160 kilos..lmao um...Spenser and I are a bit more than
that together. We took the stairs down lol! It was from 1967.

So we ate Hesburger, had coupons buy one get one free,
and did a bit of candy shopping. We checked out 
thrift stores too. Saw Spenser's godparents out
in town and that was nice :).


Salamander man lol, I want that hat lol

Today...has been the epic shitstain of shitstains.

So you know we've been waiting for what,
months, for Spenser's time to get into a day
program for his anxiety? I mean MONTHS.

So we got the call a couple days ago, and went
today. We were planning it all out, etc. 

Basically they said the program is at 
the ass end of YEARS of therapy for anxiety.
It's to get used to being around people so you
can get into working or study life.

Spenser didn't qualify they thought. We didn't
get home to see my family for the holidays and
and waited to hear this stinking piece of shit news.

Spenser's therapist, psychotherapist, ALL said we'd
see how he did after this therapy and move on from there.
We've had MONTHS of no therapy visits because everyone
kept saying wait wait for this program.

The people at the clinic said Spenser has had terrible
treatment and should of had continual therapy visits even
while waiting. There was NOTHING.

I'm pissed. Spenser was accepting but everyone acted
like this fucking program was Christ on a charger and all.
They said they'd "send a letter" to the place where he
has his therapy now.


A fucking letter. We get to wait even
more to see what the fuck they'll do.


Word lol.

So let's just say that I had an acting out moment that 
was pretty fucked up when we got home. I haven't
did anything like that in years...like 5 years?



I broke the front door..let's leave it at that. So Spenser
had to replace two huge screws I sheared off pretty much...yeah.
Not my greatest moment but was cleansing and then me just
crying all over Spenser. God bless him, he's a great 
and CALM guy. I hulked that shit man lol...damn.


 Also Yente wouldn't leave me alone and quit talking..
last thing I need is a taco moment after a day like this.

I'm burned out from frustration. We've been bumped to
many different doctors for Spenser's therapy. The day clinic
people couldn't believe how many. Spenser is frustrated,
I'm frustrated.


I see why people go to private but shits
expensive. To quote Yente from Fiddler
on the Roof "We suffer..oh how we suffer"
especially being poor. 

So fuck it. We're back to square one. I 
don't know what the fuck to do and neither
it seems does Spenser's therapist people. Christ
almighty...just ugh.

So we had a good Skype at least with my folks and I
chatted with my sis a bit and it ended a rather crapulent
day.


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